[john would never want her to hide an ounce of her devastation from him.
he understands. they've talked so much about their lives. he's seen memories from her life that she chose to share with him and more. it wasn't long ago that he saw her memories of stefan, and they spoke after, stumbling a bit along the way. they've come a long way since then. they've come past her own death, her own transformation into a vampire, through everything they have been through.
his arms wind further around her as his fingertips slip through the strands of her hair, closing his eyes against her. he pulls back, chest aching. his thumb slides over the side of her face, because- because he loves her so, so much. he brushes his mouth against hers, closing his eyes briefly, briefly, wishing this all hadn't happened while they were gone. he opens his eyes again to look at her, meeting her gaze as he swallows thickly.]
I know. [john has so many issues with killing. he can't wrap his head around it, around making that choice. he did so before in vastly different circumstances.] We weren't there. I don't- I don't know why that would be the only choice. I like to think it's never-
[never the only choice despite what having made that choice means. it means john has made his own choices to kill, and this is different because this is- this is someone elena loves- ...loved.]
no subject
he understands. they've talked so much about their lives. he's seen memories from her life that she chose to share with him and more. it wasn't long ago that he saw her memories of stefan, and they spoke after, stumbling a bit along the way. they've come a long way since then. they've come past her own death, her own transformation into a vampire, through everything they have been through.
his arms wind further around her as his fingertips slip through the strands of her hair, closing his eyes against her. he pulls back, chest aching. his thumb slides over the side of her face, because- because he loves her so, so much. he brushes his mouth against hers, closing his eyes briefly, briefly, wishing this all hadn't happened while they were gone. he opens his eyes again to look at her, meeting her gaze as he swallows thickly.]
I know. [john has so many issues with killing. he can't wrap his head around it, around making that choice. he did so before in vastly different circumstances.] We weren't there. I don't- I don't know why that would be the only choice. I like to think it's never-
[never the only choice despite what having made that choice means. it means john has made his own choices to kill, and this is different because this is- this is someone elena loves- ...loved.]