somanyadjectives | teleios } { don't weep for me for this will be the labor of my love

[ they haven't stopped moving.

the umbrella she received for agentmas has been instrumental in taking them wherever they need to go: from one realm to the next, and then the realm after that. elena once expressed a desire to travel, but these aren't exactly the circumstances she'd had in mind; it's funny, in all the ways that it isn't.

she wasn't expecting to find anything of note in the egyptian underworld. every step that leads them closer to thor is still a step that's riddled with dead ends. she's about to state as much to john when her name is spoken. the pitch of her own voice grows higher as realization dawns on her. ]

Stefan?

[ no. no, no, no. she shakes her head. ]

You can't be here.

[john has been with elena every step of the way, and he is so grateful they are in this together. when he first found out about the deal she'd made with hades, she had hated the thought that he wanted to go with her and be put in danger. he can't imagine her going on this whirlwind, nonstop search on her own (she would have been okay. his desire to go with her had never been because he didn't think she could take care of herself. she can, but it would have been a long, lonely journey).

he's beside her when he hears the soft, quiet voice, and he recognizes it immediately. his hand moves, resting against elena's arm from beside her, feeling, hearing her reaction. and it hits him powerfully.

his mouth parts in surprise even as he shakes his head, because-

because this isn't what they expected to find here, and as much as him and stefan never really got along (though he gave john good advice after- after the leviathan), he never would have wanted to see him in the underworld. never would have wanted elena to suffer that loss, more loss. she's lost so much already.]

[He can be here, unfortunately. The bracelet is gone from his wrist and he's probably even paler than usual, but he's there. It's where they send people when they die and are bound to an Egyptian god after all.

But he doesn't want to jump right in to explaining that right away.]

You're not supposed to be here either.

[ she can only imagine what must be going through stefan's mind right now, after everything that happened with the leviathan. elena is quick to dispel him of those notions; she's already died once and she has no intentions of executing a repeat performance. ]

It's not what it looks like. [ she glances to john, her expression conflicted. stricken. ] We're still looking for Thor.

[john keeps his hand on her arm, but he nods in confirmation. they are not here to live out an afterlife.]

We're stopping through on our way to find Thor. [he tightens his hold on elena's arm even as he breathes in deeply through the feeling caged in his chest. if stefan is here, it means he died, because there was no other way to get out of teleios when they left it (and as far as they know, it's still the case so the whole city must have gone more to hell than before)] What happened?

[Stefan nods for a moment, trying to figure out how to phrase it, before he shakes his head.]

Set happened. And I ... I lost control.

[Which is putting it mildly, but it certainly explains part of how he ended up here.]

[ elena knows who set is, thanks to apollo. she knows exactly what stefan means as soon as he says the god's name. this is no longer the naive girl who believed she could get stefan back as long as he wanted it bad enough. that girl was killed years ago, the moment stefan and katherine drove right past a rift. ]

What did you do? [ the words are a whisper. stefan, what did you do. ]

[john stays quiet from where he is standing, taking a step back almost but still remaining close enough that elena knows he is there for her. his hand remains against the side of her arm before his hand drops back down

he can't say he knows like elena knows what it is like for stefan to lose control or what that means]

[Stefan glances away for a moment, before shaking his head.]

Set had control of a friend. I made a deal to get her out of it, but I had to act for him instead. I hurt a lot of people, Elena.

[ her heart drops to her stomach, and her expression falls along with it. she is a vampire know. she is vividly aware of how easy it is to lose control, in a way she never could've understood before. she doesn't trust herself to speak, especially because she knows stefan.

there's more to this story. ]

[john's hand remains on elena's shoulder even as his stomach drops down like a heavy weight. there are a lot of people he cares about back in teleios, and he's worried about that. beyond that, he knows what it's like to lose one's agency, to be ordered around, to act for someone else.

it settles uneasily in his stomach, because he's aware too- there's more to this story.

there's more to hear.]

[He pauses for a moment, before rubbing the back of his neck.]

They tried to stop me. Lock me up, dry me out - but I got out again. They didn't have any choice. The only way to stop me was to kill me.

[ elena's gaze immediately finds john's, as though she needs to be moored and he is the anchor. she swallows hard, fighting the persistent burning that pricks her eyes. and shakes her head, because she doesn't understand. ]

Who ... ? There's always a choice.

[ they've had this happen before, stefan going ripper. and he makes it out on the other side. he does. ]

[his chest aches. they've been out here looking, searching. it's so, so important they do, and it's all gone to hell back in the city. john keeps her gaze as she immediately finds his own as if he can sense that she needs to have that anchor, and he locks his hand over her own tightly, fingers locking together as a reminder. he is right here. he is right by her side as he always has been, as he always be as long as he is allowed to choose it. he will always fight to be right by her side. i'm here, he thinks the words to her in the middle of her turmoil.

his thumb slides over the side of her hand as he looks from her to stefan, but his gaze lingers on elena, lovingly. his chest aches at the expression on her face, but he doesn't say anything. he just reminds her that he is right here,

because he is, and he's holding on to her. he won't let go whatever comes next.]

[He doesn't want to tell her. He knows that it won't be the answer she wants to hear, but he can't lie to her, either.]

Jeremy. It was me or someone else. Someone innocent, Elena. That was the choice.

[ elena flinches, as though she's been struck. she doesn't mean to let go of john's hand, but she does. she doesn't mean to take a step back from stefan, but she does. her head shakes and her eyes well. stefan and damon are vampires. they aren't meant to die. it's what she counted on. where everything else can be taken away so easily, they're meant to remain. they owe her that much, don't they? across worlds and realms and timelines, why should this change? ] No. No, he — [ jeremy wouldn't. he knows. he knows that elena loves stefan. jeremy — jeremy would. stefan wasn't his to not give up on. ]

We can make you a deal.

[ a hint of desperation reaches her voice. ] The way I did. We can get you out of here.

[ she can get him out of here. ]

[john doesn't chase after her hand when she lets his go as the words come, as the answers come, and each of them- each of them harder to take than the next. he is swallowing back his heavy, sharp reaction to the words, to the realization. this is not about him. it's why he swallows it back (the knowing, the darkness, all of it). he breathes in sharply, holding his breath, watching elena's reaction as it utterly breaks his heart. turns his heart into shrapnel which hit every single other part of his body until he almost shakes with it, but he doesn't and he doesn't speak and he doesn't move.

he can sense- he can sense she needs this moment alone with stefan. she doesn't have to say that out loud for him to know it, to feel it. there's a history here between the two of them, and he's dead now because of her brother. he doesn't know how anyone wraps their head around that at all.

he lifts his hand to rest it against her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.]

I'm going to give you two some time alone, okay? [it's said very quietly in the quiet space between. his gaze drifts to stefan who he nods at before he steps away from the both of them. elena can reach him if she needs to by reaching out with her mind, but for now he walks far enough away from them that they can be alone together to speak]

[Stefan gives John a grateful nod as he steps to the side, because this is probably something that's better worked through with just the two of them. He reaches forward as John leaves, taking her hand gently and pulling her in closer. He feels colder, even colder than he would as a vampire, but he's there physically, and the contact might help make this a little easier.]

Not for me. Not this time. I don't want to come back and run the risk of being used against you again.

[ elena shakes her head stubbornly, even as she follows stefan's pull. her fingers curl tightly into his, frost with rime. ] It won't be like that. We're going to find Thor and when we do, he'll make it right. You can come back with me, and no one will hurt us again.

[ it's a child's wish, and a part of her knows it. ]

[It is a child's wish, and her hope is one of the things he's always loved about her, even in the face of so much darkness. But he also knows that there isn't an easy way out of this one. Hope isn't going to solve it. Not this time.]

Then we'll figure it out once Loki is put to bed. But for right now, I think it's better if I stay here, where I know I can't hurt anyone.

[ hope may not be the answer this time around, but stefan allowing himself to compromise for later means everything. it's the only way she'll be able to leave the underworld, and he likely knows that, but she will hold him to it. tears warm her lashes, and she looks away with a bittersweet smile. ]

Why is it that I always have to walk away from you? [ she's been doing it since she arrived in chicago years and years ago, and she still hates it. she still hasn't entirely learned how to do it. it never stops being unfair. ]

[He smiles softly as he leans forward to press his lips against her forehead in a gentle kiss. He knows that she can't stay for long - that she has important things to do and she needs to do them, and he can't get in the way of that.]

Because you're walking towards something better.

[And all Stefan has ever wanted is the best for Elena - even if that isn't him.]

[ elena has always refused to believe that. she still does. her eyes close against that kiss to her temple, throat closing up with an emotion too raw to name. she wraps her arms around stefan tightly, resting her face against the crook of his neck. it's still as familiar as it ever was. she doesn't think that's ever going to change, wherever they end up. she presses a kiss to his skin there, and when she pulls back, she cups his face with her hands. ]

I'm coming back for you. Okay?

[ they bring each other back. that's what they do. ]

[He returns the hug just as tightly, holding onto her for as long as he can. It may be the last bit of physical contact he gets for a while, and he wants to relish it for as long as he can muster.

But eventually she pulls away and he lets her, meeting her gaze as she makes a promise he isn't sure if she can keep, but if nothing else, it's something worth holding on to.]

Okay. I'll be here.

[It's not like he can go anywhere else.]

[ elena hugs him tightly, with a strength she never possessed as a human, wrapping him up whole. she remains in their embrace for as long as possible, almost as though she knows. and maybe she does. she only pulls away until she physically has to, hands lingering at his cheeks.

her eyes burn, and she nods at his answer, so many things — as usual — left unsaid.

but she'll come back. it's a promise she makes and not just to stefan. to herself. ]

I'll see you soon.

[ the words are whispered with conviction, and it takes every ounce of her determination to pry herself away from stefan.

elena and john still have to find thor, and they're closer than ever now. ]

See you soon.

[And with that he will let them go, fading back into the City of the Dead and becoming just another one of the souls lingering in the distance.]

wires - athlete.

[ to her credit, elena keeps it together until she is finally and fully facing away from stefan. in a horrible twist of fate, this is the very first time that elena is the one walking away from stefan, and it takes every ounce of her will to do so. her face crumples no sooner her gaze meets john's. she shakes her head helplessly, incapable of forming an adequate response, choosing to step wordlessly into his arms instead. it's only then a faintly audible, shaky breath is released. ]

[john waits quietly. he isn't too far away. she'll be able to find him by following that link of theirs to him, but he's far enough that he didn't hear the conversation she'd had with stefan so he doesn't know when it ends either. his gaze meets her own, and his heart breaks for her when he sees the way her expression just crumples. he reaches out, winding his arms tightly around her the moment she steps wordlessly closer until she's up against his chest.

he slides his arms further around her, pressing a kiss against her shoulder and into her hair as he holds her tightly to him, without saying a word either, simply accepting, loving, bringing her in with all her pain and her grief and her emotions right now.]

I'm so sorry. [his fingers drift into the strands of her hair, and his other hand, fingers press into her back.]

[ it's a testament to how deep their relationship is that elena doesn't think to hide her devastation from john.

long before they were ever given a telepathic connection that worked both ways, elena felt nothing but endless support and acceptance from him. he knows all of her: the good and the bad. he knows how closely death has followed at her heels. he knows that she's loved terrible and beautiful vampires, and a part of her always will. it's a huge part of who she is, how could she hide it from the person she loves most, the person she's spending the rest of her life with?

she presses her cheek to his chest, arms winding around his middle. it won't be long before she soaks the fabric of his shirt with warm tears, shaking her head against him once more. she finally speaks, her voice thick with tears. ] I just can't believe Jeremy killed him. [ they keep saying this: there was no other way. and she has such a hard time believing that. she and damon got stefan back once before. but then, they weren't in teleios, were they? ]

[john would never want her to hide an ounce of her devastation from him.

he understands. they've talked so much about their lives. he's seen memories from her life that she chose to share with him and more. it wasn't long ago that he saw her memories of stefan, and they spoke after, stumbling a bit along the way. they've come a long way since then. they've come past her own death, her own transformation into a vampire, through everything they have been through.

his arms wind further around her as his fingertips slip through the strands of her hair, closing his eyes against her. he pulls back, chest aching. his thumb slides over the side of her face, because- because he loves her so, so much. he brushes his mouth against hers, closing his eyes briefly, briefly, wishing this all hadn't happened while they were gone. he opens his eyes again to look at her, meeting her gaze as he swallows thickly.]

I know. [john has so many issues with killing. he can't wrap his head around it, around making that choice. he did so before in vastly different circumstances.] We weren't there. I don't- I don't know why that would be the only choice. I like to think it's never-

[never the only choice despite what having made that choice means. it means john has made his own choices to kill, and this is different because this is- this is someone elena loves- ...loved.]

[ elena's eyes slide shut, the shuddering in her chest growing calm and steady once his mouth brushes against hers. she rises on her tiptoes, the way she has many, many times before, fingers curling into his wrists with a gentleness she thought she would lose the moment she lost what it meant to be human. and she finds that it isn't true. it's never the same. it hasn't been the same since the beast's teeth tore into her flesh.

it's right here with him, in between them. she presses so much closer to him. lingering.

his voice cuts off and her jaw locks to keep it from quivering, a lone tear spilling down her cheek. she is furious and heartbroken and sad. she hates teleios so much, sometimes, and yet she could never regret it. she would have never met john otherwise. ]

I know what you're worried about.

[ elena wouldn't need to read his mind to know it. to know john. she leans her cheek into his hand, placing a reverent, loving kiss to the heel of his palm. ] I won't make another deal. I meant that. [ her tearful eyes lift to meet his. ] But he can't stay here. We have to get him out.

[ somehow. ]

[john breathes her in, holding her close to him as she rises on her tiptoes. he leans down, opening his mouth further against her own, framing the side of her face. his gaze drifts over her face with an indescribable ache through his expression, through his body language now as he holds her close and closer still. no, she didn't lose that gentleness though he knows she feared it, feared losing it when she lost that part of herself she had to bury when she was- when she was killed.

his eyes burn at the way she looks, at how tightly she presses herself to his chest like this, lingering against him.

he wipes the tear away from her as it spills down her cheek, and he continues to frame the side of her face. john presses against the top of her head before he breathes in and he pulls back to look at her face, framing the side of it. his gaze keeps her own, and he hates so- so much that it happened while they were away, hates the choices that are forced to be made. there's a brief pause then as his mouth parts, swallowing, glancing down.

john knows how important stefan is to her. he knows she will want to do what she can to free him, but he doesn't- he doesn't want her signing up for another deal, no. he's not surprise she knows what he's worried about, and his gaze drifts back up to her when she speaks.]

Thank you. [his voice is low aching as she presses that kiss to the heel of his palm, so loving. she's always been so loving with him. and it strikes a cord in him too when she says we, because she'd wanted to go alone before and he gets why she wanted it but he- he fought her on it and she accepted his help so easily. and now- now it's automatically we.]

Yes, we will. We will find a way to get him out. You know I will do anything I can to help you, help him. We're a team.

[they're family.]

[ it shouldn't be surprising to elena, in retrospect.

every time, every single time, she's left teleios for another realm, something would happen by the time she came back. at least before, it was usually disappearances; it meant missing her loved ones, but she could comfort herself with the fact they were sent home. this is different. stefan is more than gone, he's dead, and he seems so accepting of his fate. when elena herself made a deal with hades, everyone was so supportive, stefan included. john was her port in the storm, but stefan helped them both.

even now, after everything, she simply cannot give up on him.

the ache in elena's chest blooms, and she leans into john's touch. his kiss. it roots her back to the present in ways little else could. her lips linger against the palm of his hand, of course lovingly, she could not imagine feeling any other way. despite the sharpness of her teeth now, and the hunger that is ever present, john makes her feel so soft. ]

I know.

[ a bittersweet smile curves on her lips. they're a team. they have been from nearly day one, but more so now. this journey that will lead them to thor, it's brought them closer together, and she didn't think it was possible to be any closer to him. ] We'll find a way. [ she places one last kiss across his knuckles, and pulls herself together. elena gilbert is nothing if not a trooper, and they still have a mission to complete. ] We should get going. [ she knows that, too. ]

[they can't escape those terrible things, and they can't control them either.

it's possible the very same thing would have happened even if they were there, if they had lived it, if they'd done whatever they could. but it's the not knowing that can weigh so heavily on her, on the both of them. he can't wrap his head around the terrible that has happened in teleios while they have been out, searching the realms, moving from one to the next, following breadcrumbs. stefan was in the position he was in because loki is in power.

if they knock loki out of power, they can prevent any further damage from happening. they can get some poor level of justice for what had happened.

john's gaze drifts over her face from up close. his thumb slides over her cheekbone, and he smiles at her when she says that she knows. it wraps around his heart, and he loves her. he loves her more than anything.]

I know now too.

[it's said softly, and if he were ever in an opposite position (~~like with russell wanting to help him, he'd have her go with too. they'd do it all together~~). it has. it's brought them closer together, and he smiles fondly, lovingly. his hand slides over the side of her face, winding around her back as he nods, watching as she places that kiss to his knuckles. a short breath is released from him before he nods] Yeah, we should. Thor is the key to fixing all of this. Loki put Stefan in that position to start with.

Before he can be helped, Loki needs to be removed from power. [all the things hades could have asked of her, this is one that john would have wanted to do regardless.]

teleios } { don't weep for me for this will be the labor of my love

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